On this page you will see shit you can buy from us. Take your time and find the perfect thing for you or a loved one! Then, buy the shit.
Oh, if you want to buy our music, go to the Our Music page on this website, you idiot. Duh.
Official Sharp Chuckies T-Shirt
This is a genuine Sharp Chuckies t-shirt made from the cheapest shirts the band could find at K-Mart. They are ill-fitting and thick and scratchy, in fact they feel like you are being hugged by a burlap sack used to haul a mixture of grain and hay. But, it's pretty much your only choice if you want to show off your Chuckies super-fan status.
The shirts are $12 but shipping is free so the band pretty much just breaks even, and loses out on their labor to boot. God, it sucks being in a band. Place your order below. Tell us what size you are (sizes available are men's Small & XL only! What the hell, right???) and we will pick whatever color we decide you should have. They're all really bright colors like bright red or bright green or bright orange. Some may have been worn. You don't care, and if you do, fuck you, then!
Official Sharp Chuckies Tote Bag
Too bad for you!
Official Sharp Chuckies Tour Boat
She's a killer. Never lost a battle. We call her Old Ironsides. We don't tour as much by sea anymore so she's up for sale.
Docked in Boston Harbor. Pick up only.
Price: $977,000 OBO
How to order:
Hmmm, let's see...we don't have an online store because we're too lazy to figure out how to do that. So, write to us at email@example.com and let us know what you want and we will do the deal that way. Sound good? Good.